Sunday 13 August 2023

[Music in my ears: “Shake it Off”, Taylor Swift]

Awake at 5am, and grieving. Luke and I were on the beach at 5:50 in a gentle rain. Are you water-washing me, Lord?

I opened my mouth to pray and started to say, “Lord, I am lost and don’t know …” I was going to finish with “…what to do”, but He interrupted me with this:

            What do you know for certain, child? Consider the ‘I know’ statements from a Samaritan woman, from Peter, from Martha at the tomb of Lazarus.

The woman at the well, answering Jesus, said “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” (John 4:25)

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” He might as well have put the words “I know” in front of his answer.  (Matthew 16:16)

Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” (John 11:24)

            Hear me, child: I AM Messiah, I AM the resurrection. Not ‘I was’ or ‘I will be’, but I AM. Before Abraham was, I AM.

            I AM the resurrection, so you are free. You are not bound by tormenting thoughts that tell you what you have done, haven’t done, or what you are not now.

            I free you from that.

Something like black tentacles snap off me, an electric feeling.

            When you take your communion – in remembrance – think of resurrection, power, freedom. Not in what I endured to bring it. You are free, and what honor and glory is it to me if you are still bound? Start there, in communion, with resurrection, because I AM, I live, and I walk and breathe with you.

            You grieve, and I grieve with you, even as I help your steps in freedom into the coming, not into the ‘what has been’.

There is a pause for all that to sink in, and I start to answer, “Lord, I believe …” but He continues:

            You are to know this, live this, when you believe!

            When your thoughts come: ‘What about the blessings? What about the healing? What about … ‘ so much more, Remain Steady on the foundation of a resurrected life, and on all My assurances.

            This is what it means to keep your eyes on me – the Living Me – Yes, it is a continuum, a living and forever process. It is not linear, as you would say. These feelings and thoughts of “Oh! It’s not working!” are not from me. Because I AM working, loving, leading you, leading all my children who, like sheep, look for, listen to, and watch their good shepherd.

            Remember then and know for certain that I AM leading into the glorious future.

            You are still being shaken to snap off the stuff that tries to cling to you, to distract, wound and kill you – now pay attention: These are tactics, child! – all so that you lose focus on me.

            The authority you take is to start within you first, and then for others. You are strong and steady when you walk – and you must walk – with me, because you are mine. In that walk, you demonstrate to the world my truth: that my resurrection is true, not was or will be. No matter, child, who speaks against you or about you.